Season 5, Episode 13 - Three Dinners

This episode focuses on three dinners: Phil, Claire and Hayley, Mitchell and Cam, and finally Gloria and Jay dinning with their good friends. Phil and Claire took their “lazy” daughter Hayley out to a fancy dinner to in order to discuss her plans for the future.  Meanwhile, in the midst of planning their marriage, Mitchell and Cam decide to go out to dinner to get some alone time. Lastly, over good food and wine, Jay and Gloria learn that their good friends have decided to move to Costa Rica. 

Hayley and her attitude. 

  The very first thing I noticed was the way Hayley and her parents interact. This is a trend that has come up over the last three episodes as well. The parent-child relationship is more of a friendship. The parents order drinks, and tell Hayley that they're just going out as friends. Hayley has absolutely no respect for her parents, which is obvious in the way she talks to them. Personally, I find this unfortunate, yet it is all too common in today’s “modern family.” There is a lack of respect and a lack of discipline. 

Finding similarities

Our second dinner introduces gender stereotypes. During their dinner, Cam and Mitchell start talking to the couple beside them. They find out quickly that Cam is much like the woman (Katie) in that they are both willing to share their food, whereas Mitchell and the man (Brandon) do not like others touching their plates (shame on them). While Mitchell and Cam are gay, Cam is the more feminine of the two, in my opinion, as he can relate to Katie. The message? Women are more willing to share, whereas men are greedy. Women are selfless, and men are selfish. This idea was formed over time where women are seen as loving, selfless homemakers, whereas men are greedy businessmen with no time for their families. It is also society categorizing what is selfish and what is not. Mitchell and Brandon may be worried about germs, it isn't about whether or not they want to share their meals.

Gloria accessing the issue

Another gender stereotype came up with Jay and his friend “Shorty” at dinner and the days that followed. Jay is upset that his friend is leaving, and covers up his hurt by finding every way he can to criticize Costa Rica. Gloria points this out to him saying, “you pretend to be so tough, but you are the most sensitive person in this house.” This is a BIG one for guys. They must be tough and they cannot express their feelings otherwise they will be portrayed as weak and therefore unattractive. Jay resolves his conflict with Shorty in an interaction that is funny, because it is so unnatural. They express their love for each other as friends and hug and cry. Gloria, shot on the staircase with Manny, has a look of disgust on her face, and proceeds to say that, “this is a little more girly than I thought.” That's exactly the world sees sensitivity in men: girly. 

It upsets me how men and women are put into little boxes of how they should and shouldn’t act. I was happy with the final scene between Jay and Shorty, until I realized it was supposed to be humorous, not touching. This episode gave clear insight into cultural gender stereotypes and gave me insight into how absolutely ridiculous these stereotypes really are. 

Season 5, Episode 12 - Pressure

Pressure. There is pressure to always be the best, to always win. Those who succeed in life are supposedly rich and happy. Alex is the overachiever, Gloria wants to be the best mother, Mitchell wants to be the "greener" neighbour and Manny and Luke want the prettiest girls. There is so much pressure everyone puts on themselves to be the best.

Luke, Manny and the new girls

Gender roles are key in this episode. Manny subverts traditional gender roles with this soft character and his genuine desire to do what is right. Upon seeing a pretty new girl at school, Luke calls "dibs" on her. Manny defends her saying, "you can't call dibs, she's a human being with feelings, not the front seat." Luke falls into the typical teenage boy category; he wants the easy girl. He says, "I like to describe my type as.. getable." Guys are seen as more attractive if they can be tough, however Manny argues that men can have feelings just as much as women. 

Women on the other hand can be quite aggressive in today's society. At the parent-teacher interview Gloria and another mother fight to win their sons' teacher's approval. Both want their sons to go to a good university. At one point, they play dodgeball against each other and it becomes more than innocent competition. The camera shots become choppy along with the increased action and the tension is obvious. They are so mean to each other. Women, and mothers especially, have come from being passive caretakers to aggressive animals or even, for a lack of better word, bitches. What changed? As soon as women started 'rebelling' in the 1920's starting with the modern girl, aggressiveness in girls was introduced soon after. Today, this aggression has become normal, sexy even. A lack of confidence and/or low self-esteem can also lead to aggression and competition.

Gloria aiming at the other mother

In American society, there is an ongoing pressure to be the best. Men compete with each other, like Mitchell and his neighbour fought over who was more "green". Women want to be the smartest, prettiest and the best mothers. This episode proves that by focusing on winning, we are missing out on relationships with each other. At the end, Alex hugs her mother after her counselling session. Sofia and the other mother find out they have a lot in common, and Mitchell ends up inviting his neighbour over for dinner. 

What is more important in life? To be the best, or to enjoy life and relationships? This episode teaches us that it is important to not succumb to the pressures of the world. 

Season 5, Episode 11 -And One to Grow On

This episode mainly centers around the parent-child drama in the Dunphy household. In addition, Jay and Gloria are getting ready to put on a birthday party for their baby’s first birthday. In the meantime, Manny tries to woo his head-cheerleader classmate, which is strongly discouraged by Jay.

Lying to their children

There are two things that popped out to me in this episode that I would like to focus on and discuss. The first is the continuous lies the Dunphy parents tell to their children and what message is being passed on to their children. The episode begins with Luke getting ready to go to an anatomy class, or so he is told. It is actually a dance class that Phil wants Luke to take, but has to manipulate him into going. Claire also lies to her newly licensed daughter, Alex, in order to avoiding having to drive with her. What does this communicate to their children? As Luke himself says at the end of the episode, “What kind of lesson is that to teach all of us?!” I believe it teaches them that it is okay to lie in order to get what they want - a very selfish motive. I believe the writers of this episode wanted to highlight this increasing problem in society; that life is about us, and that it is okay to lie to get you want.

Secondly, there is a strong emphasize on the importance of physical appearance in romantic relationships. After his birthday party, Manny finds a coat left behind belonging to a classmate named Amy. He then takes this opportunity to do something special for her so that she will fall for him. Jay argues with Gloria that he doesn’t stand a chance with her, and that she is out of his league. He then proceeds to look at Manny’s year book to find someone that will better suit him, inquiring about what they look like, “from the neck down”. This of course is reference to their physical appearance suggesting that sexy, beautiful women cannot be with overweight gentleman, no matter how attractive his personality. However, this is male thinking. A women is often attracted to personality over looks, evident in Jay's own relationship with Gloria. 

Accent or ballons? 

At one point Gloria asks Jay which one he likes better (In referring to the birthday party decor), the [colour] accents or the balloons. Jay replies, “I’ve been asking myself that since I met you.” It is obvious through this comment that most men, like Jay, prefer a women which large breasts. Gloria is the perfect example of the ‘sexy women’ stereotype. She appears in these episodes wearing tight revealing clothing and low cut tops that show off her large boobs. Jay also mentions her accent. Everyone knows that accents are hot, simply because it's different, and we live in a society where normal gets boring pretty fast. We always want more out of life and often are unsatisfied.  This also objectifies women. She is wanted for her goods, not what she brings to the table personality wise. 

Everything is worked out in the end, and everyone is one, big happy family. Or are they? 

Season 5, Episode 10 - The Old Man and the Tree

The families are getting ready for Christmas and things are pretty chaotic. This episode focuses on American values and beliefs as well as defining gender roles.

Claire and Gloria with Gloria's Mother

In a scene with Claire, Gloria and Gloria’s mother from Columbia, there is a strong value placed on women who can cook verses women who cannot. A women's place is in the kitchen, therefore her value is found in how well she can cook. This belief is passed down from Gloria's mother and the generations of women before her. Gloria’s mother is quickly fond of Claire, who can cook, and Gloria feels unaccepted and unwanted as a daughter because cooking is not her strength. 

I found it very interesting the way American living is depicted through this episode. At one point, Phil gives up on reaching his end goal to, “get to Canada” on his elliptical machine, and lists everything else he has given up on in the past and that it shapes his daily life (for example, the route he takes to school in order to avoid past “failures”). This implies that American’s are lazy and give up easily, especially men. 

Phil on the Elliptical 

Also apparent in this episode is the value placed on physical appearance in an American marriage. Hayley, who works as an Elf at the mall, tries to cover up a problematic situation in which Santa angrily leaves his chair by saying, “He (Santa) travels a lot, she (Mrs. Claus) put on cookie weight.. its hard.” This therefore implies that a marriage is negatively effected by the change in appearance, especially that of gaining weight. However, when a guy gains weight, or for someone like Santa Claus who is a pudgy guy, it is not a problem. The woman however, must keep her form to be attractive so as not to cause difficulties in her marriage. It is no wonder that men are unsatisfied with an, "unattractive wife" when they are bombarded with images of fake, beautiful women everyday in social media and advertisements. 

The episode ended on a good note with the family all together for Christmas. There is an emphasize placed on the importance of finding value in the little things in life. The gender roles are quickly realized in Claire and Gloria sticking to the kitchen work and the men (Jay and Manny) who went and got the tree. This also highlights that American culture and gender roles have not changed much over the years in regards to tradition and holidays. Cheers!